Disclaimer: Minor spoilers included. Tread at your own risk.

Groot only knows 3 words, and two of them are “I am.”

Sit back and hold your horses, for Guardians of The Galaxy Volume 3 is about to be the most wholesome MCU movie you’ll ever watch.

While wholesome may not be the best adjective to describe a movie that has equal parts eugenics and a villain hell-bent on breaking the Nuremberg Code for animals, this tale is certainly a lot more than its dark glimpses. 

It’s a raw, honest tale of friends saving each other’s backs, one that will make you run and tell your friends you love them.

Winguardian Leviosa

The story lifts off with Rocket (not-a-raccoon) and his origins. Rocket’s life is in danger, and the Guardians leave no stone unturned to save their friend. But will they be able to save him in time?

I ask that question because Rocket’s origin is fairly twisted, dark, and deep- much like Robert Frost’s woods.

This time, the Guardians have to face a cruel madman called The High Evolutionary (Chukwudi Iwuji)- a man who does not believe that God exists.

And so he steps in, takes God’s place, and aims to create a perfect society-come what may. 

Naturally, this narcissistic sociopath makes for a very likable villain. 

Homecoming

It’s not just Rocket’s story that gets the spotlight though, each character has a very well-rounded arc in this movie. 

Along with MCU’s classic plot points scattered throughout (Adam Warlock, Phylla, Kraglin, etc), our old Guardians each get a pretty satisfying end. Nearly everybody dies at some point in the movie, but the ultimate closure does not disappoint.

Gamora is back, and she’s back a total ****– much to Peter’s dismay. The signature Guardians of the Galaxy humor hit every single time, thanks to the cast’s spot-on delivery. 

Honestly, this film also made me realize what a cosmic comical masterpiece Drax’s character is. I love him.

You’ll also witness the cold, mechanical Nebula being as sassy as ever; and Mantis having quite the character growth compared to previous movies. 

Groot and the audience also have a breakthrough that we won’t be talking about here since we are Groot, not groot-esque.

And of course, the mighty StarLord. I have to say, Chris Pratt rules this one. From space voyages to destructive hallway battles to funny-looking creatures, Chris nails every scene he’s in. The visuals are as good as it gets- if someone let me work at the OrgoCorp headquarters, I’d jump right in. 

Also, Bradley Cooper’s phenomenal voiceover brings the top-hole graphics to life- making you rethink the entire definition of talent. That’s what this movie is: sheer talent.

The Sky is the Limit

James Gunn rarely disappoints. Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 has animals, children, messed up clinical trials, stellar graphics, spaceships, plenty of self-loathing, counter-earth, a fairly fine soundtrack, and even the creation of Adam- all packed into a storyline that makes you feel a spectrum of emotions you didn’t know you were capable of yet. 

You’ll be sure to depart with fierce, bold characters who remind us why fiction and fandoms still prevail. 

Here’s to the final set-off to the characters we’ve loved and grown up with, who are now a part of the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world (only literally, Drax).

TLDR: Go watch it, folks. It’s a win-win even if you don’t end up liking it or haven’t watched any Guardians of the Galaxy movie before. 

Oh, and remember, the legendary StarLord will be back.